I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
