Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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