But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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