Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
