i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will be naked everywhere
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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