I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
