god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
