so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize