were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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