is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
