At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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