so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
