nut hugger
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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