and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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