hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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