Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
