Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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