Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
