i don't like sucking hair
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
