I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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