Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
