He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize