omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
