tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
