nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
third nipple confirmed
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
