I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
