Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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