She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
