People in love make me want to vomit
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
