How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
