true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
