He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
