Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
