I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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