Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my shit smells like andre
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize