you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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