I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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