If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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