Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
