Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
