and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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