not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
