I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
