I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
