Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
