I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
