Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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