i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
