yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
vagina is talking i cant
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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