You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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