When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My balls are so social today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
