I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
