he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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