That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
