Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We are all done wearing pants today
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
