3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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