porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
