You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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