i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
