He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize