this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize