I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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