Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
