I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
