My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
