I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize