Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
3pm strippers are depressing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
