WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
