I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize