I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize