Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
