worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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