I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
