Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize