I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you still have your period?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
