Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize