Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
