He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
