8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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