Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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