As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This is my gift to your gina
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize