i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Randomize
