We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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