Tell her she can't have a vagina
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
