I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize