what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
